Words matter on Tinder. Matches on Tinder are made based on a few sentences in someone’s profile, and conversations are started—and ended—with a few words.
Knowing what words to use on Tinder can be difficult, especially when sending your match an opening line.
While I can’t guarantee that you’ll find the love of your life on Tinder, I can help you improve the odds of starting a conversation by using the right opening line.
Opening Line Rules on Tinder
1. Start the Conversation
By matching with someone on Tinder, they have already signaled to you that they are interested in you. You don’t need to wait for another signal before you start messaging them. If you like your match, then text them. Don’t feel the need to wait for them to go first.
2. Ask Questions
Conversations are, in essence, the asking and answering of questions. You can help facilitate your Tinder conversation by asking questions.
Asking a question is just as important in an opening line as it is in your subsequent conversation. By asking the other person questions, you make it much easier for them to reply. Asking questions keeps the conversation flowing and shows that you are engaged and interested in the other person.
Keep in mind that “leading statements” can replace direct questions. An example of a leading statement is “I’d love to learn from you”. While this isn’t a question per se, it will prompt an answer-like response from the other person.
3. Be Concise
Your Tinder match doesn’t want to read a novel. Keep your opening line brief. It is, after all, an “opening line” and not an “opening paragraph”.
Once you’ve started a conversation with your match, you can add more detail and have longer messages. But you still want to keep your message length reasonable; usually three or four sentences is the most you’ll need in any reply. Any longer and you risk overwhelming your match. Text messaging simply isn’t the appropriate platform for a lengthy conversation.
While proofreading is a tip that applies to all written communications, proofreading is even more important when online dating. This is because your match has very little information about you other than your profile. In mere seconds, your match will decide whether to reply to you; you don’t want this decision to be influenced by poor grammar or incorrect word choices.
If you keep your messages concise, then it shouldn’t be hard or time consuming to proofread them.
5. Be Respectful
Tinder has a reputation for raunchy opening lines and sexually explicit messages. While some wit, humour, and flirtation are to be expected on a dating app, always remember that another person is reading your messages. Your match deserves respect. Your match should not feel harassed, demeaned, hurt, or mistreated by your messages.
Before sending your match a text message, ask: “Would I say this to a acquaintance in person?” If the answer is “no”, then re-work your text message.
Opening Lines For Tinder
I’ve incorporated the five considerations listed above into the opening lines listed below. The opening lines listed below are grouped into three categories: compliments, customized questions, and random questions.
Feel free to copy these opening lines and use them when texting your Tinder match. For the best results, I recommend that you modify each opening line to your circumstances.
Start your conversation with a compliment. Compliments help break the ice because they make the recipient feel good, and a happy match is more likely to reply.
Try to link your compliment to your match’s profile so that the compliment isn’t random. The compliment should also focus on your match; avoid giving a compliment that places yourself in the compliment (e.g. avoid “I wish I could be as smart as you”). ]
- You have the best looking dog. I’d love to meet it!
- I love how happy you look in your photos. You have a great smile!
- Your master’s degree in urban planning sounds so interesting. I’d love to pick your brain over a beer!
- You look like a a pro skier / artist / musician / runner in your photos. Any chance you’d want to share your skills with me?
Be careful with compliments about a person’s physical appearance. What you perceive as a compliment about your match’s physical appearance could be demeaning, hurtful or insulting to your match.
2. Customized Questions
A customized question serves two purposes. First, it shows you are interested in your match because you had to put in time and effort to create the customized question. Second, customized questions increase the likelihood of a response because they can be answered by your match with minimal effort.
- When did you go to France? You must have so many other great photos of your trip!
- Where did you take your hiking photo? The scenery is beautiful!
- I went to Oxford as well! When did you graduate?
- Your ski pictures are incredible! What’s your favourite memory from that trip?
- Your dog is so cute! What’s its name?
- The cocktails in your second photo look delicious. Any chance you’d take me to that bar for a date?
3. Random Questions
Sometimes your match has limited information on their profile. In such cases, you need to be creative. I recommend asking a random question in such instances. Your random question doesn’t have to be entirely random–you could, for example, link the question to something on your profile, or use it to fish for information from your match (e.g. to determine whether you share similar interests).
- I really want to try the new noodle restaurant on Main Street this weekend. Any chance you’d like to join me?
- I’m asking around–what’s the best Friday night movie to watch with a date?
- I’m been searching for a fun jogging route in the city. Any chance you’d like to show me your favourite trail?
- Have you been to the newly re-opened park downtown? It’s beautiful this time of year!
- I’m looking for travel tips! Any exciting locations you’d recommend?
- Debate: Is John Oliver better than Stephen Colbert?
Avoid These Opening Lines on Tinder
Some opening lines and topics of conversation should be avoided on Tinder: